Children don’t always have the words adults expect them to have.
Especially children who have lived through divorce, conflict, or emotional stress.
As adults, we often ask questions like:
“How are you feeling?”
“What’s wrong?”
“Why are you upset?”
But for many children, those questions feel overwhelming. They may not know how to answer—or they may not feel safe enough to try.
That’s where simple metaphors come in. And they can be incredibly powerful.
What I Saw in My Own Children’s Therapy
I watched my children begin to open up in therapy in the most unexpected way—not through long conversations, but through drawing.
One exercise their therapist used was simple, creative, and non-threatening.
They were asked to draw a bug.
Then, on each leg of the bug, they drew a small circle. Inside each circle, they were asked to draw or write something that “bugs” them.
That was it.
No pressure.
No forcing emotions.
No “right” or “wrong” answers.
Just one gentle question:
“What bugs you?”
Why It Worked
Something incredible happened.
By putting their worries inside little bubbles on the bug’s legs, my children were able to get things off their chest without feeling interrogated or exposed. The metaphor did the heavy lifting for them.
They weren’t being asked to explain everything all at once.
They weren’t being told to choose sides.
They weren’t being made to feel disloyal for having feelings.
They were simply drawing.
And through that drawing, they learned:
- How to identify their emotions
- How to express discomfort safely
- How to talk about feelings without fear
That small activity taught them that their feelings mattered—and that it was okay to talk about them.
Why Simple Metaphors Create Safety
Metaphors like heart drawings, bugs, bubbles, or other visual tools give children emotional distance. The feeling isn’t them—it’s something they can point to, draw, or name.
This matters deeply for children in high-conflict situations.
When kids feel caught in the middle, words can feel dangerous. But drawings feel safe.
A heart drawing might ask:
- What feels heavy in your heart?
- What feels broken?
- What feels strong?
A bug drawing asks:
- What’s bothering you?
- What’s crawling around in your thoughts?
These metaphors invite honesty without pressure.
Children Don’t Need Complicated Therapy—They Need Safe Space
What this taught me, both as a parent and as an author, is that children don’t always need complex explanations or adult conversations.
Sometimes they just need:
- A piece of paper
- Some crayons
- A simple question
- And permission to be honest
That is therapy.
That’s how children learn emotional language.
That’s how they learn it’s okay to speak up.
That’s how healing starts.
Why I Write What I Write
This is exactly why I write my books.
Because I lived it.
Because my children lived it.
And because I saw firsthand how small, intentional tools can make a massive difference in a child’s emotional world.
Helping children feel safe enough to express what’s inside them—without fear, guilt, or pressure—can change everything.
Sometimes all it takes is a drawing…
and one simple question.
“What bugs you?”
And that’s powerful.
